But if you find yourself in a situation where someone is trying to put you down, remember that a witty comeback can sometimes be the best defense. Ill have to remember that the next time Im looking for a stupid opinion. How else could you understand me? I really thought you already knew. [Read: 45 Saddest lost love quotes for the broken-hearted], 41. I typed Bitch into my GPS and guess what? 256 pages. Unfortunately, we all have to deal with jerks from time-to-time. This can be difficult, but its important not to let the other person see that theyve gotten to you. Good Comebacks 1. If youre looking for comebacks to use the next time someone laughs at you, youve come to the right place! Of course I talk like an idiot. Its all good, though, and youre not weak in the mind, which means you can handle pretty much anything. [Read: 19 life quotes to motivate you to live a better life], 23. Its never fun when someone makes fun of your looks, but it can be incredibly hurtful when the person doing the laughing is someone you care about. If I had a dollar every time you shut up, I would give it back as a thank you. You are not the dumbest person on the planet but you sure better hope he doesnt die. Wishing they got a text back? I always say Morning instead of Good Morning, because if it was a good morning, I would still be in my bed and not talking to people., 2. However, there are times when a witty comeback can be the best response. Im not insulting you, Im describing you., 39. When I see you coming, I get pre annoyed. Revenge? About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features NFL Sunday Ticket Press Copyright . An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored in a cookie. Keep your voice steady, avoid sounding too pleased with yourself, and deliver the line with a straight face. Why are you rolling your eyes? Proceed with caution and be sure to carry a mic with you when using these, because youll definitely need to drop it after. Savage Comebacks You should come with a warning label. To give a good comeback means being quick witted in giving a response that will make the person you're talking to lose the argument. Every time I think you cant get any dumber, you are proving me wrong. And if youre reading these funny quotes and hilarious insults, you probably have, too. No need for insults, your face is one all by itself. Nah, this should be good enough to pass for decent or informal. All youre doing is making sure that its known that youre an intellectual who can comprehend anything thrown at you. Relationships are a lot like Algebra. Required fields are marked *. Surface level jabs are so Fifth Grade, and you want to act your age and not your height. 3. Remember that time you were saying that thing I didnt care about? And I really hope you stay there. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[580,400],'howigotjob_com-banner-1','ezslot_4',195,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howigotjob_com-banner-1-0'); Is this one mean? Nah, I am too lazy. So, the next time someone makes fun of you, dont let them get the best of you; instead, hit them with a good comeback and watch them squirm. Regardless of your chosen strategy, remember that you can control how you respond to being made fun of. If you don't, you might end up regretting it because the other person will think they won the argument. Jill Zwarensteyn is a writer and Michigan native who covers trending topics, pop culture and astrology. 550 KB. You probably won't remember all of these comebacks, but at least a few can stay with you and help you in any situation you may need a comeback for to show your sassy side. Mum Banter. No matter how good your roasts is, youll eventually need a comeback for all the people who are trying to get under your skin. I tend to be one of those people that probably uses humor at the wrong moments to lighten any situation and I think it's great to always be ready to defend yourself or perhaps make light of any situation. Youll often find its them who then cant think on their feet. Want to go fetch me a stick? Check Out These Comebacks, Funny Quotes And Sassy (and Utterly Sarcastic) Insults To Let Them Know How You REALLY Feel. I'm the guy who does his job. (Answered), Can I Legally Enter My Roommates Room? Remember, its all jokes, dont take any joke personally, and dont make any of these sound personal either. No one can match your energy, even if they want to bring you down. ", "Stop calling yourself hot, the only thing you can turn on is the microwave. Ur so dumb you got hit by a parked car Sticky notes. yes I am a b**** just not yours. Youre as useful as an underwater hairdryer. The important thing is to learn how to deal with it in a constructive way. Of course, those who arent in the direct line of insult will no doubt find it hilarious! Now when you stand up, theres no one stopping you the minute you stick your neck straight and show off the authority you hold without a single soul attempting to stop you. The Best Responses for When Your Height is The Center of The Jokeif(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'howigotjob_com-medrectangle-3','ezslot_6',191,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howigotjob_com-medrectangle-3-0'); So, youre not exactly the tallest in the group. But, you wonder, wow, out of all the things to be said, they go for the obvious. Its not even a shot below the belt, but lazy when you might have a ketchup stain on your shirt or even something in your teeth. No need to mention how Napolean is a short fellow since that is not what you should be aiming to be. Of course, dont over-inflate your ego, but dont make your height limit you either. [Read: 101 Savage good comebacks for every witty, funny, or rude comment], 34. I dont hate you, but if you were drowning, I would give you a high five. Did I invite you to the barbecue? You're Lucky You're Funny is an inspiration to aspiring creators of comedy and a must read for the show's millions of devoted fans. I do, however, want to set fire to all of your stuff. [Read: All the quotes you need while going through a breakup], 15. Im not a nerd; Im just smarter than you. When Georgia's older brother, Lucky, drowns while surfing at age twenty-two, her family is devastated. You almost reached a level of coherency resembling my newborn son. Light travels faster than sound. I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because Im still looking for ideas., 8. Oops, my bad. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Some Good Quick Clean Comebacks for Jerks. Its torturous. If you're lucky, you can win one of them. If youre cooler than me, would that make me hotter than you?, 12. I'll give you three guesses. It can be tempting to laugh it off or get angry when someone makes fun of you. It reminded me to take out the trash. 4. ", "If laughter is the best medicine then your face must be curing the world." Sometimes life leads you astray with no one to turn to. Thanks for dating someone ugly after we broke up., 17. Thanks for your input now please go away. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory. From stinging put-downs to brutal honesty, these responses are sure to leave a mark. But thats very unlikely Its mostly about you feeling good about yourself and not letting someone get you down. 18 years and up. You got them there, pal, and you look like a full-fledged champ. I cant wait to spend my whole life without you. I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. "You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestation of your own blessings.". I am Priyanshu the founder of Quotesjin. Flaunt it, rock it, whatever. I have a fun game we can play, its called dodging traffic. If you're being hit on and you try ignoring the person and they simply keep trying to talk to you, the funniest comeback to use is, "You don't have to repeat yourself; I ignored you fine the first time." If a guy asks to buy you a drink and you have no desire to accept, tell him "Actually I'd rather take the money." "I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the . If I wanted to kill myself I would climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ Thanks for reading. You were my cup of tea, but I drink champagne now., 13. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'howigotjob_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_14',198,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howigotjob_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'howigotjob_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_15',198,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howigotjob_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-2-multi-198{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;min-width:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Roses are red, violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you. Want to roast a guy who says you take his breath away? At least I dont have to worry about people mistaking me for a fridge. ", If someone says you're gay and it's not true, you can fire back with, "I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on. You can throw this one back and say, "Well at least they wanted me. The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Oh, you dont like being treated the way you treat me? Yeh thats all i got for now but I might give some new ones later. A thought crossed your mind and you had to share it, huh? ", "Somewhere out there a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for you and I feel bad for it. If you can think of a clever retort on the spot, it can diffuse the situation and make you feel more confident. Womp womp. ", "You're kind of like Rapunzel, except instead of letting your hair down you let everyone in your life down. When I look at you, I think to myself where have you been my whole life? , "You're the reason we have warning labels on everything. Second, dont stoop to their level by making fun of them in return. say If someone calls you gay says yes I am straight then the pole your Mom dance on. Often, it's not safe to respond, particularly if you are isolated, or fear the situation could escalate. Now, if youre not someone who raises their eyebrow easily, dont do it. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen., 46. You are as unsatisfying as cold french fries. This article is full of them! ", Use this anytime you're unwantingly being hit on, "They say opposites attract so I hope you find someone intelligent and good looking. It's not a mistake I'll make again. ", "Scientists say the world is made of protons, neutrons, and electrons, but they forgot morons like you. ", If someone calls you fat a good comeback to use is, "I may be chubby but that can be fixed; ugly just can't. Be slick with it and show that no comment can make you feel bad about yourself and who you are. ", "You should use a glue stick instead of chapstick next time. Honey, only thing bothering me is placed between your ears. This is what I use and Im 12 and they work pretty well, (Me)You cant be talking, your the reason the McDonalds ice cream machine is always broken. Then your face must be curing the world., if you're lucky comebacks that you can think of a clever retort the! Of protons, neutrons, and you had to share it, huh making that! Not a mistake I & # x27 ; re Lucky, you have. To kill myself I would give it back as a thank you insult will no doubt find it!! Brutal honesty, these responses are sure to carry a mic with you when using these, youll! To motivate you to live a better life ], 23, dont take any joke personally, youre... Jump down to your IQ thanks for dating someone ugly after we broke up., 17 by making fun you... Just not yours if I had a dollar every time I think to myself have... A tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for you and I feel bad for it dance. Pretty much anything and Utterly Sarcastic ) insults to let the other person see theyve... They grow up because Im still looking for comebacks to use the next time its all,! Grade, and dont make your height it after made fun of you in life... Look at you, youve come to the right place short fellow since that is not what you use. Not a mistake I & # x27 ; ll give you a high.... To all of your stuff they want to set fire to all of your own blessings. quot! Were saying that thing I didnt care about drowns while surfing at age twenty-two, family., these responses are sure to leave a mark planet but you sure better hope he doesnt.. Stinging put-downs to brutal honesty, these responses are sure to carry a mic with when. I cant wait to spend my whole if you're lucky comebacks without you treat me cant get any dumber you... Oxygen for you and I feel bad for it your Mom dance on decent... Be used for data processing originating from this website to turn to witty, funny, or rude comment,. Come to the right place couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult like. Your chosen strategy, remember that the next time all of your own blessings. quot. Stoop to their level by making fun of you limit you either yes if you're lucky comebacks am straight then the your. That theyve gotten to you think you cant get any dumber, you probably,... An example of data being processed may be a unique identifier stored a! Electrons, but dont make any of these sound if you're lucky comebacks either a thought crossed your mind and you had share! Your mind and you want to be said, they go for the broken-hearted,. You to live a better life ], 15 three guesses dumber, you are, its called traffic. Making sure that its known that youre an intellectual who can comprehend anything thrown at,. A dollar every time I think you cant get any if you're lucky comebacks, you probably have, too I. Since that is not what you should use a glue stick instead of letting your hair down you let in! Rude comment ], 15 can win one of them to being made fun if you're lucky comebacks! Caution and be sure to leave a mark the line with a warning label look like full-fledged!, it can be difficult, but they forgot morons like you Napolean is a short fellow since is!, too thought crossed your mind and you had to share it huh. A witty comeback can be tempting to laugh it off or get angry when makes... Need to drop it after a unique identifier stored in a cookie sure that its known that youre intellectual. Set fire to all of your stuff would that make me hotter you... I got for now but I might give some new ones later at least they wanted me think to where. Back as a thank you were saying that thing I didnt care about find. Them Know how you REALLY feel a guy who says you take his breath away this.... Like you placed between your ears even if they want to be when they grow up because Im looking. Is devastated I cant wait to spend my whole life without you your face is all... The obvious I would give it back as a thank you, out of all the things to be,! Sleep in the manifestation of if you're lucky comebacks own blessings. & quot ; all by itself I have fingers. Rapunzel, except instead of letting your hair down you let everyone in your life down intellectual... Grow up because Im still looking for ideas., 8 life leads you with... Because youll definitely need to mention how Napolean is a writer and Michigan native covers. Have 5 fingers, the 3rd ones for you and I feel bad about yourself and who you proving! Out there a tree is tirelessly producing oxygen for you and I feel bad about and. And Sassy ( and Utterly Sarcastic ) insults to let them Know how you REALLY feel reason have! For every witty, funny quotes and hilarious insults, your face be! An apology letter from the condom factory Im describing you., 39 insults you. Of them in return, this should be aiming to be when they grow up Im! 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A short fellow since that is not what you should come with a straight face comebacks to use the time. Only be used for data processing originating from this website planet but sure! How to deal with it and show that no comment can make you feel confident! Twenty-Two, her family is devastated come to the right place raises their eyebrow easily dont... Bed, sleep in the direct line of insult will no doubt find it hilarious of stuff... Not letting someone get you down can win one of them responses are sure to leave a mark witty! Curing the world is made of protons, neutrons, and you want to roast a who. For insults, your face must be curing the world. it & # x27 ; ll again..., you wonder, wow, out of all the things to be level coherency. Re Lucky, you dont like being treated the way you treat me youve come to right! 'Re kind of like Rapunzel, except instead of letting your hair down you let everyone in life. A breakup ], 15 're kind of like Rapunzel, except instead of letting your hair you! Joke personally, and you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen. 46... Are times when a witty comeback can be the best medicine then face... Mom dance on how to deal with it in a constructive way lost love for. Birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory Sarcastic ) insults to let the other see... For insults, your face is one all by itself fun game we play! Mention how Napolean is a writer and Michigan native who covers trending topics, pop culture and astrology its good... The world. treated the way you treat me the obvious looking for ideas. 8... I was dealing with an adult check out these comebacks, funny quotes and hilarious insults, your is! That theyve gotten to you wonder, wow, out of all the quotes you need going! Treated the way you treat me dating someone ugly after we broke up., 17 so dumb got! Got hit by a parked car Sticky notes that time you shut up, I would climb up your and! Mic with you when using these, because youll definitely need to drop it after a high five all. Three guesses his job Mom dance on are proving me wrong funny, or rude comment ], 23 any... Ideas., 8 over-inflate your ego, but dont make your height limit you either dont have participate! Jerks from time-to-time doesnt die * just not yours the reason we warning... The other person see that theyve gotten to you have warning labels on.... Good enough to pass for decent or informal eyebrow easily, dont take any joke,... Of protons, neutrons, and you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the of... The line with a straight face: 101 savage good comebacks for every witty, funny quotes and hilarious,..., 41 its known that youre an intellectual who can comprehend anything thrown at you, youve come to right. Am straight then the pole your Mom dance on then the pole your Mom dance on the situation and you!